YDATL Blog NOTE: The opinions expressed by our individual bloggers are their own, and not necessarily those of Young Democrats of Atlanta.
Monday, August 28, 2006
News Flash: Turnips Beat Georgia Congressional Delegation in IQ Contest
It would seem to be a reasonable conclusion, based on this article (which Sid Cottingham highlighted in his most recent entry), in which several Republicans have decided to play George of the Jungle's moronic sibling.
Let's begin with this beauty from Phil “Fewer Brain Cells Than Terri Schaivo” Gingrey:
I see it [Iraq] as World War III and I don't think we can afford to bail out when the going gets tough.
Astute readers will note that Congressman Toad has no military background (at least none he is willing to share in his official biography), clearly making him eminently qualified to blather about what does or doesn't qualify as World War III. Perhaps Congressman Toad would like to talk to some of the people who fought in World War II about what exactly makes Operation Clusterfuck anything remotely like bringing down the animals who ran the Third Reich and imperial Japan. I would also like to bring the following news item to Congressman Toad's attention: The going got tough a long time ago, although Congressman Toad was presumably too busy Protecting America by eviscerating the Constitution to save Terri Schaivo to give a damn.
How about another Gingrey Goof?
Gingrey said the war is in its "fourth quarter."
It seems that Phil has spent his time at the old ball game (except that this one costs billions of dollars and sometimes the players die) drinking the “special Coke” that he remembers from his college days – those special times when it was more fun to spike your soft drink than to actually watch Georgia Tech attempt to play football – because every time Team USA makes a big play, like killing Al Zarqawi, it gets called back on a “Killing Random People in Haditha” penalty. If we're in the fourth quarter, this sucker's going to quadruple overtime. So much for “Mission Accomplished.”
Here's one from John “Call Osama bin Laden” Linder:
Others, including Rep. John Linder, R-Duluth, compared the struggle to the American Revolutionary War...
Yeah, it's just like the Revolutionary War, John. Remember that part where we were content to live with the arbitrary whims of George III until France came over in 1770 and bombed the colonies into oblivion, and then gave no-bid contracts to King Louis' pals to “rebuild” America while his lackeys were overseeing the compliance of the puppet government? Or how about that part where the French raped and murdered random colonists and wondered why some people started thinking that being ruled by a raving lunatic wasn't so bad after all? And let's not forget the part where France totally bungled the “rebuilding” except for rebuilding the industries they got to control as a reward for “liberating” the colonies. Yes, John, your powers of observation and deduction are truly amazing. I'm surprised you can say more than “Timmeh”, you bloviating moron.
Oh, and then there's this from Tom “Official Weiner of the U.S. Congress” Price:
Rep. Tom Price, R-Roswell ... said he is constantly reevaluating the progress.
That so? I would think it would be pretty hard to concentrate on reevaluating anything when you're playing the smarmy sycophant to the George “Ken Lay Has Nothing On Me” Bush administration. That squirrel that you turned into road pizza as you drove your SUV to your “Save Social Security By Taking All the Money Out of the Program” meeting could reevaluate our progress in Iraq and figure out that the only progress we're making is toward making Iraq the main attraction in a long-running exhibit entitled “Vietnam: A Metaphor for American Foreign Policy”. On the other hand, you, Tom Price, are to George Bush what Monica Lewinsky was to Bill Clinton, except dumber and less attractive.
*sigh* I can't believe that at least two out of these three mental midgets is going to go back to Congress.