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Tuesday, December 26, 2006

2006: Georgia Democrats by the beverages
Today's blogger

January 9: Georgia Democrats start off with a well rounded Glenn Richardson, with lively tannins and a nutty finish.

January 18: Republican legislators chug Beck’s Dark as they eviscerate Martin Luther King’s legacy with SB 84.

~February 20: Chuck Pearson staggers into a Natural Resources and Environment committee meeting and swears on his friend Jack Daniels’ grave that stream buffers are Bad for Georgia.

February 27: The Sith spike Andrew Young’s Crown and Coke with roofies, prompting him to sign on to Wal-Mart’s P.R. offensive.

March 8: Chip Rodgers and Nancy “Darth Vader’s Wife” Schaefer smirk as SB 529 passes the Senate, sending undocumented laborers running to the liquor cabinet for solace in their friend Don Julio.

April 1: Chuck Pearson wakes up with a serious hangover after SB “Die, Stream Buffers, Die!” 510 loses 30-139. Upper Chattahoochee River Keeper celebrates over a few pints of Sweetwater 420. YDAtl heads out for margaritas.

April 9: Mark Taylor and Cathy Cox elect to snub the Walk for Women’s Lives; their campaign managers assure them that Stella Artois is pro-choice and hanging out with her is just as good.

May 17: Cathy Cox’s campaign staff makes a strategic investment in Steel Reserve before concocting the infamous gay marriage position statement.

May 18: Taylor Trolls toast pints of Sweet Georgia Brown while Atlanta Public Affairs starts the line for shots of 151.

June 25: YDAtl members volunteering at a freezing, rainy PRIDE festival beverage booth discover that Peels are really quite tasty beverages.

July 14: Reports surface that Greg Hecht has morphed from “Give ‘Em Hecht” to the Incredible Imploding Candidate by pulling the mother of all cheap shots; Bobby Kahn keeps sippin’ on gin and juice.

July 18: Ralph Reed, in an alternate dimension conceived after my third martini, chokes on one of his poker chips and dies. Sharon Beasley-Teague hits like skunked Coors Light. Shyaam Reddy finds out that he will not play in Bud Bowl 2006.

August 9: Greg Hecht cries in his Terrapin when the asskicking he so richly deserves hits home.

August 30: John Lewis and Jim Martin wow the YDAtl crowd sipping on merlot at Vinocity.

September 19: The Big Guy takes a (presumably) big piece of advice from noted politician Sam Adams and decides child molesters ought to fry.

October 29: The AJC knocks out Jim Wooten with a few caipirinhas, long enough for them to get a clue and endorse Mark Taylor.

November 7: Gail Buckner falls flatter than a pint of O’Doul’s. YDAtl toasts Jan Hackney with champagne before hitting the chardonnay.

November 23: In another alternate dimension, conceived by the YDAtl New Orleans think tank over hurricanes, John Oxendine suffocates from sucking up to all those HMO’s. “I wish I could quit you!” rings true.

December 24: The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Sonny Perdue what a jail cell looks like. The Ghost of Christmas Past knocks back some egg nog after looking at 2006.

December 25: Greg Hecht’s heart grows three sizes after another dose of Southern Comfort.
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posted by Ataru Atlanta at 12/26/2006 10:16:00 PM

2 Comments:

Blogger MelGX said...

Oh my God Benson. This is priceless.

12/26/2006 11:30:00 PM  
Blogger Dr. Know said...

Funny Stuff... With a local flavor.

12/28/2006 07:09:00 AM  

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