YDATL Blog NOTE: The opinions expressed by our individual bloggers are their own, and not necessarily those of Young Democrats of Atlanta.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
And now for something completely different.
American voters - D. Oh, you get a passing grade for sustaining this kind of internal animosity between factions without devolving into violence or setting anything on fire like some countries do. But at the same time, you lose points for tolerating this kind of administration without setting anything on fire. The fact that pundits get all kinds of excited about 50% turnout, and that the paltry drizzle in which about a dozen YDAtliens stood for hours waving signs is enough to dissuade people from voting for their government, makes me wonder where the hell we get off "exporting democracy" when we don't know how to use it ourselves. Anyone who did not vote because of weather ought to be tied to a chair in a small windowless room and locked in with Angry Benson after he's gotten into the gin. And Angry Benson gets a golf club.
Candidate spouses - W. The W for "Withdrew" is more of a suggestion than a grade, because there is a time and a place for you in campaigns, and it's not out front parading your opinion. I don't need to see Sonny Perdue's wife squinting at me from my TV and telling me what a swell guy he is; she was fool enough to marry the crook, so her testimony doesn't amount to squat. And Mrs. Harry Geisinger ought to watch what kind of garbage comes flying out of her stupid pie-hole, calling an honorable and dedicated citizen like Jan Hackney a "puppet" in a mailer that basically smears Hackney while bemoaining non-existent "smear" alleged against Hackney's campaign (it's not smear when you really vote to screw things up, it's called a record, you moron). Hello, irony! But if you're going to step up and make your personal opinion about your husbands part of the campaign, then you'd better be prepared to take the heat that comes with it. I'm watching you, Mrs. G. You're On Notice!
Alcohol - B-. Dear, sweet alcohol, you started off strong as a champagne toast, and when the fit hit the shan, you were quick to provide a comforting sense of numbness. But on nights like last night, you overstay your welcome and do mean and nasty things to the liver and stomach, and you seem to have replaced my brain stem with a combat boot. Extra points of for Honey Brown. Honey Brown? What's up with that? Your alternate selection of Sweetwater 420 was a fine brew on its face, but Atlanta progressives practically bathe in the stuff already. Tsk, tsk.
Renaissance Hotel - C+. You know, lots of hotels provide their guests with internet access for free, and it's ironic that you have to go to a cheaper, dare I say dodgier, hotel to have a bottle opener built into the bathroom counter where it bloody well ought to be. And allowing your bar to run out of Guinness? Booooo. Hire a few more valets, while you're at it; the parking situation is just kooky. Kudos for soft beds and big TVs though.
Karl Rove - F. Go back to math class. Your "THE math" is not reality-based. You lose, sucka!